I wrote about it here, but my snide remarks were part of a bigger consideration of the bait-and-switch it shared with its partner for a double feature I saw that week, MaXXXine, both of which purport to be horror movies but are really more serial killer movies.
But at that time, I hadn't even published my 1/10 review of it on ReelGood. I can now point you to that review if you want to dig deeper into the choice words I had about it.
There were a few others who joined in my distaste for the movie. My oldest friend, who used to comment here as Don Handsome but has (rightfully) put blogs in his rearview mirror, greeted the mere news that I had seen the movie -- I wasn't going to tell him my thoughts in case he hadn't seen it -- with the single comment "Boo," and we went from there. His partner disliked it equally. And then there's the estimable but slightly risible critic Rex Reed, whose 0 rating on Metacritic stood in stark contrast to the next lowest one they saw it fit to feature on the film's main page, a 63. The others were 75, 80, 80, 90 and 100.
Those scores of 75, 80, 80, 90 and 100 were the things that made me secretly worry that Rex and Don and I might be idiots. We knew how terrible the thing we saw was, but if you hate something that everyone else loves, maybe it's you, right?
Well this was a good week in the journey of my dislike for Longlegs.
It started with one of the other ReelGood critics finally seeing it -- a horror aficionado at that. Here was what he thought:
"Wouldn't go as low as 1, but it wasn't great."
Now you get a SPOILER ALERT for the rest of his comments:
"Just crazy how many different elements he threw in there. Psychic detective, haunted dolls, Satanism.
"Not sure if it was meant to be a bit ridiculous or he just had no idea what he was doing."
Bingo!
That gave me some comfort, but it did not quite give me the sweet, sweet validation I spoke of in the subject of this post.
I had seen that a discussion of Longlegs was coming up on The Slate Culture Gabfest, catching up as I have been from many months behind, now to only about a month behind. I was a bit worried about the prospective positive tenor of this podcast, though, given the episode title: "Longlegs has legs."
As it turned out, this title was nothing more than a statement of fact: The movie had become a word-of-mouth phenomenon and was making far more money than most movies of its basic components make, effectively burrowing into the zeitgeist.
It was not a statement about their appreciation of the film.
In fact, I am not sure if I have ever heard these three people -- who have discussed hundreds of movies in the ten years I have been listening to them on this podcast -- so lambast a film.
The two women, Dana Stevens and Julia Turner, were a bit measured in their albeit clear disappointment with the film. Perhaps it was their "feminine sense of empathy" that compelled them to point out things they thought were good; in one case, quite wrongly, the performance of Nicolas Cage.
Stephen Metcalf? He was howling with how preposterous the whole thing was.
A grin split my face in two as I was walking home from the train station, listening to an increasingly giddy takedown of the movie. Steve's sheer delight with how bad the movie was quickly won the other two over.
But wait there's more.
I don't know if you are a Slate Plus member, dear reader, but if you are not, it might be worth signing up just to hear the BONUS EPISODE they recorded in which they could continue to trash the movie, only with spoilers. Especially if you are a Longlegs hater like I am.
We're not talking about a full hour of content, but rather, each regular episode of the Gabfest includes a bonus fourth segment, after their weekly endorsements, that is only for Slate Plus subscribers. It runs about 17 minutes, or did in this case anyway.
And those 17 minutes were devoted to tearing the movie to shreds with the freedom not to censor themselves to avoid spoilers.
It's exquisitely entertaining listening, and it has put a spring in my step for the 48 hours since I listened to it.
So look, you might have come to this post because it's about Longlegs and you liked Longlegs. I'm sorry that you had this clearly incorrect experience with the movie, but at least you are in the majority. Maybe it's me.
Or maybe it's me, my friend Don, Don's partner, Rex Reed, my ReelGood critic, and Dana, Julia and Steve.
One day, maybe everyone will realize what a turd this movie is.
No comments:
Post a Comment