Moonfall Daydream - What turns out to be David Bowie's final concert is interrupted by the moon crashing through the roof of the stadium.
The Batman from Toronto - The story of a polite vigilante who fights crime north of the border, eh?
Don't Worry Dumbledore - Albus Dumbledore learns that Hogwarts is actually the end result of a mysterious project spearheaded by Chris Pine.
Raymond & Prey - Ethan Hawke conscripts a Comanche warrior to help bury his shitty father.
Enola Holmes Team - Sherlock's little sister really tries to step out of his shadow by coaching a high school football team.
Thor: Love and The Wonder - Jane Foster transforms into the Mighty Thor after starving herself for 40 days in a rural Irish village.
I Love My Crawdads - A father crawdad catfishes his son to spend more time with him, both get confused about their aquatic life metaphors.
Stutz 666 - Jonah Hill is surprised when his therapist's eyes turn red and he starts playing devil worship heavy metal.
Avatar: The Way of Wakanda Forever - The Na'vi and the Talokans fight it out underwater to see whether unobtanium or vibranium is better.
Babylonbarian - Damien Chazelle and Zach Cregger fight it out in the multiplexes to see who can make the more batshit movie.
Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madea - In an alternate universe, Madea is played by Martin Lawrence.
Marcelvis - Of course, the small mollusk prefers his shoes to be of the blue suede variety.
Everything Everywhere Bones and All at Once - Michelle Yeoh jumps to the universe where she's a cannibal, uses those skills to eat Jamie Lee Curtis.
Is That Black Adam Enough for You?!? - Apparently, owning Black Adam wasn't Black Adam enough for me, as I still did not watch it before my ranking deadline.
Wendell & Weird - Al Yankovic and a demon voiced by Keegan-Michael Key sustain themselves on magical hair growth cream and song parodies.
Our Father Stu - A reformed criminal who becomes a priest and then a fertility doctor returns to a life of crime when he starts mixing in his own samples.
The Banshee Said - Harvey Weinstein wants to know what possible reason there could be for Brendan Gleeson no longer liking him.
Death on the Lyle - It turns out the singing crocodile was dangerous after all.
The Unbearable Weight of Massive Tar - Nicolas Cage hides out on a Spanish island after his career as a world-renowned conductor comes crashing down.
Glass Onion: All the Old Knives - Spies double-crossing each other, rich people double-crossing each other ... it's all the same thing.
Turning Seriously Red - A Dolly Parton impersonator turned into two red pandas when she was a teen, and they were a metaphor for something else entirely.
Three Thousand Lightyears of Longing - Even a genie can't get that damn hyperspace fuel crystal to work.
The Woman Kimi - An agoraphobic African tribeswoman overhears British invaders being killed in her 18th century version of Siri.
The Men-u - Rich people are served a bespoke dinner prepared entirely by chefs who look like Rory Kinnear.
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