A Farrelly brother has just directed a best picture winner

Hey, I'm the biggest Dumb and Dumber fan out there, but I would have never seen this coming.

Despite some buzz about its chances months and months ago, I had written Green Book off as a serious contender for best picture because of the backlash related to its white savior racial politics and the fact that its director flashed his penis at people back in the day. Seeing no other movie with a realistic shot, I had figured Roma was a foregone conclusion to take home the night's top prize, and was okay with that. I think I'll like it better the second time I see it. And besides, Alfonso Cuaron has made some all-time great films. He deserves it.

Nah. They gave it to the movie written by the guy who made MAGA tweets a couple years back. And, for good measure, they gave him his own Oscar for writing the damn thing.

Look, I liked Green Book. I enjoyed watching it. But a year-end ranking in the mid-40s or so dropped all the way down to #69 when I heard a podcast full of naysayers convincingly shout it down on The Slate Culture Gabfest. The movie's got some problems.

But Oscar history is replete with problematic best picture winners, isn't it?

This is not quite Crash, but it might be close.

However ... good show overall I thought. I took more notes than usual and I'll give you a sampling of my thoughts below.

But first ... yes, I got to watch the show.

What ended up happening was that it was available to watch on 9Now on my Fetch box, just as I hoped it would be. For a moment I thought I'd have to watch a live stream replay at 7:30 before my kids went to bed, and I'd have to start right then as it didn't look like I could pause it. But at about 7:25 it finally came up on 9Now, so I read the kids stories before settling in for what I noted was a comparatively brief 154-minute telecast.

The only funny thing I'll say about that experience is, do you think they wanted me to watch Billions? Billions, the TV show, was one of the sponsors of this airing of the telecast, even though it's not showing on 9Now, but rather, the streaming service Stan. Stan must have thrown oodles and oodles of dollars at 9Now, because after a while, that was the only ad they played. And there was only one version of the ad, which one time played four times consecutively during an ad break. I think I literally saw the ad 57 times over the course of the evening.

Okay, on to some assorted thoughts I jotted down, which I'll try to go through quickly. I just finished watching 15 minutes ago so I have no idea if these are the most popular catty observations about the show, or things that I alone noticed. Probably the former. This show is so scrutinized that I don't remember if I've ever had a truly original thought about a completed Oscars telecast.

- The opening number by Adam Lambert and Queen was sensational. Though I must admit, I asked my wife (who was watching for a few minutes at the start) if the guitarist was Jimmy Page. Dummy.

- Regina King had a great speech. I just saw If Beale Street Could Talk a week ago and was really happy with this win.

- The lead singer of Rage Against the Machine is presenting? What's this? (Later I noticed it became a theme, with other such non-movie people as Serena Williams and Trevor Noah appearing on stage.)

- Wow there were a couple really discombobulated groups of winners at the start. That was painful.

- Brian Tyree Henry, I had no idea you had a sense of humor. Well played.

- Jennifer Lopez was easily the most glamorous-looking person in a night of a lot of glamorous people. Wow. That dress. Although ...

- Amandla Stenberg was a close second. I had to look her up. She played Rue in The Hunger Games. I have not yet seen The Hate U Give.

- That crying was intense in the acceptance speech by the best production design winner. And I'm not sure in a good way.

- I didn't miss a host at all, as the bit by Maya Rudolph, Amy Poehler and Tina Fey filled that need perfectly. However, I did think the show was badly directed. I often thought the camera was looking in the wrong place.

- Really surprised that Mahershala Ali won again so soon after Moonlight. I'm not looking it up, but that's probably the least amount of time between awards for an actor since Tom Hanks won for Philadelphia and Forrest Gump. But I loves me some Mahershala so I was okay with that too.

- What role is Sam Rockwell playing where he's so damn bald?

- Loved the Wayne's World bit. Mike Myers and Dana Carvey are not dead.

- Awkwafina and John Mulaney were priceless. I only knew him from his voice on Big Mouth. I'm ready to see him in other stuff. And Awkwafina is one of my 2018 discoveries so I loved seeing her.

- Bradley. Cooper. And. Lady. Gaga. Killed. It. One of the best Oscar musical performances I can remember.

- The winners of best live action short were just so damn excited. It was great.

- I just noticed Spike Lee is honoring Prince. I NEED MY PRINCE BIOPIC RIGHT. NOW.

- When Green Book won best original screenplay, I kind of thought to myself "At least Alfonso Cuaron will not be going up on stage by himself four separate times tonight." How naive I was then. I would have vastly preferred that to what ultimately happened.

- What did Farrelly do at the end of his acceptance speech that made Viggo Mortensen crack up? It wasn't flashing his penis, anyway.

- Spike Lee just said "motherfucking" on the Oscars. I just wish he'd been able to get out that acceptance speech in some semblance of composition. However, this is the one award for my #2 movie of the year -- you do your thing, Mr. Lee.

- I liked Tessa Thompson and Michael B. Jordan's bit about the ocean. Give me bits, but keep them simple.

- Gaga's initial reaction cry was very sweet. Her on-stage stammering, maybe not as much. I think you can stop playing the underdog now, Lady. You've arrived.

- The Academy president, who introduced the In Memoriam section, was the only old white guy on stage all night.

- What an inspired, outside-the-box choice to have Barbra Streisand introduce BlacKkKlansman. Some nice old-school on-stage improvising, or what sounded like it anyway.

- Rami Malek pointed a finger at Christian Bale as he went on stage, rightly acknowledging what was truly the most masterful acting performance of the year. And then gave the best speech of the night.

- As Olivia Colman wins for The Favourite, that's at least one Oscar for every film nominated for best picture. Nice parity there.

- I didn't know until my wife told me afterward that Lee tried to walk out after Green Book won. What a rollercoaster night for Spike.

That was a lean show with almost no wasted energy. I wonder what they'll pick on now. Something, anyway.

And that's a wrap.

Now, to go watch Billions.