Almost exactly a year ago, my job moved into a shopping
plaza that has a movie theater in it. No, I don’t work at a women’s haute
couture clothing store. The shopping plaza has twin skyscrapers set into it,
and I’m in one of them. (Only third floor, though, so don’t get too jealous of
my view.)
The year since then has been a sustained tease.
I’ve got this movie theater within about a minute’s walk
from my desk, depending on how quickly the elevator or “lift” arrives. Yet I
haven’t once seen a movie there.
Okay, that’s not entirely true. I’d say I have
probably seen five to ten movies at Cinema Kino in the past year. But I’ve only
seen those movies by going home, and then later that night, in the 9 to 9:30
range, coming all the way back in to work to attend that particular theater.
Most of the blame for this is quite obvious and nothing I
can do anything about. When I leave work each day, my time is not my own. I
need to go pick up children from school, or if my wife has picked them up, I
need to go right home anyway so I can help make dinner. A two-hour sojourn to
the movies isn’t usually in the cards.
But you figure it might have happened at least once, on a
special occasion. It hasn’t, and it won’t happen later today either, even
though I’ve got a very special occasion right in front of me. That special
occasion is my wife and my kids going to Tasmania for five days, and leaving me
behind in Melbourne, for a rare chance to do what I please, when I please.
If for no other reason than that it had never happened
before, I decided I was going to go see a movie after work on Friday. Just for
the novelty of it. Just for the convenience of it. Goddammit, I’ve got to use
my proximity to the theater as an excuse for seeing a movie at least once.
But I’ll tell you why I can’t, or rather, why I won’t: They
don’t program the damn movies for the end of my workday.
I get off at 5. The movies at Cinema Kino don’t have any
interest in that. Here’s when they start today:
Shazam – 3:40
p.m., 6:30 p.m.
Dumbo – 6:00 p.m.
Sometimes Always Never
– 6:10 p.m.
The Happy Prince –
4:20 p.m., 6:50 p.m.
And then a couple of other movies I’ve already seen that are
not conveniently timed even if I hadn’t seen them.
This may represent a difference between Australia and the U.S.,
but what happened to all those 5:35 time slots you usually get for a movie? I
feel like movies in the U.S. play at 1:10, 3:20, 5:35, 7:25 and 9:40. Don’t
they?
I thought about figuring out a way to slip out early and see
the 3:40 showing of Shazam, but it
defeats the purpose of having a theater conveniently located near my work if
going to see a movie there requires feats of great inconvenience. If I’m going to leave work 90 minutes early, I could
go to any theater anywhere, and besides, I’d want to do it for a reason better
than Shazam.
Oh, so I suppose you want me to wait around for a whole hour
and see Dumbo? See the previous
paragraph. Sure, I could eat something, drink something, wait it out. But by
about 5:40 I’d probably be saying “All this for *$%@! Dumbo?” Besides, I want to get this movie out of the way so I can
get home and start enjoying my house with no one in it. This weekend, the
novelties will abound.
The fantasy I really have about having a theater so close is
being able to duck out for a long lunch and see an 11:30 movie or a 1:00 movie.
But I’m not an executive, so I don’t have the liberty to do something like that.
And that would be a really long
lunch, considering that I only get 30 minutes.
It hardly seems sporting that I’m annoyed about Cinema Kino
being so near yet so far, considering that when I do see movies there, I see
them for free as part of my critic association membership. That should be
novelty enough.
But I want it all, dammit.
Or at the very least, one single 5:25 start time of some
movie, any movie.
Please?
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