Sometimes I think it's good for an avid film watcher to have conspicuous holes in their viewing. Everyone thinks you are likely to have watched a particular film because of its place in the cultural conversation, and because it came out in plenty of time to watch it before you finalize your year-end rankings. And then you just don't.
But when I told a friend earlier in the week that I might miss both the newest Mission: Impossible and the newest John Wick -- the former of which is still on the table -- he responded with "You should see John Wick."
He didn't want to say anything more than that. I think I know why, but I don't want to get ahead of myself.
So then I started thinking "Maybe ... if it shows up on one of the streaming services I already pay for." It seems like movies without a previously existing relationship with one of those services are, indeed, starting to show up on these services more regularly.
So when I had to abandon the first film I planned to watch on my projector Monday night, the night before a day off work on Tuesday, I did indeed notice that John Wick: Chapter 4 was streaming on Amazon. And that's how I spontaneously started watching a two hour and 49 minute movie at 9:40, when I had planned to watch a movie half that length. (That movie will get watched and reported on later in the month.)
The one thing I will say for John Wick: Chapter 4 was that it did not feel as long as it was. That's rather counterintuitive, because I do think there is the same monotonous quality to the fight scenes in this film as in its predecessors. Also, at least 75 percent of the time I had no idea why John Wick was where he was, what he was planning to do there, or why it was so important. I think part of that is built into the narrative and part of that is me just not caring enough to put it all together.
I was entertained by this film while at the same time considering it only a small step up from the last two movies, neither of which I liked. A few creative sequences sustained me. There's something a little gonzo about the fight scene in the traffic circle around the Arc de Triomphe. In fact, I think there are two separate traffic scenes where assailants are getting thrown about the screen after getting hit by cars. At what point would traffic just drop to a standstill? Never, apparently. Also, I really liked the sequence told from above, as Wick walks through the rooms of a building, and you can see the tops of the walls -- kind of in the style of that old video game Gauntlet. He's got some weapon where he is "flaming" the other people rather than shooting them -- again, I rarely bothered to figure any of this out -- which just increases the sense of it seeming like a video game. In this case I found that a positive, though I wouldn't always.
Overall, though, there's just so many self-serious platitudes about vengeance that it all rings pretty hollow, and I found myself wondering which series has more other characters talking about the central character, Harry Potter or John Wick. I always laugh whenever they raise the bounty on Wick's head -- it gets up to $40 million at one point in this movie -- because it's only then that we see all the assassins limber up and prepare to come after him. Some of them are like "Nah, I don't get out of bed for any less than $20 million. But now? Sure I'll give it a go."
In fact during the movie I imagined writing a comedic short film told from the perspective of one of these random hitman that Wick easily dispatches when they all miss shooting him from ten feet away. You'd start with the announcement that the bounty was up to $26 million, and then you'd go to a conversation between two rando assassins, one younger and dumber than the second, who is a veteran and extremely dismissive of the other's abilities. The younger one would say "You know, I think I might go for John Wick" and then the other would tear him a new one. The rest of the conversation would go something like this:
Older one: "You know how many people John Wick has killed? Four thousand two hundred and 97. You know how many times he's been killed?"
Younger one: (laughing) "Um, zero?"
Older one: "Yes that's right zero. And if you think it's funny just trying going after him."
Younger one: "I don't think it's funny, it's just the way you phrased it, I mean obviously if he's still alive he hasn't been--"
Older one: "John Wick would kill you in his sleep. You'd be the person he took out when he was already fighting with two other people and he randomly blasted you out of the corner of his eye. You wouldn't get within 100 feet of John Wick."
Younger one: "Okay fine I get it."
He'd stew on it for a few days. Then the younger one would randomly see John Wick eating cereal in a diner and walk in and blow him away.
Move to a later scene, involving this guy and some senior High Table guy wearing an overly fancy suit and too much bling. He's got a European accent of indeterminate origin.
High Table guy: "So what did you say your name was?"
Younger one: "Fred."
High Table guy, as if pronouncing a foreign word he's never heard: "So tell me ... Fred ... how did you get the drop on the infamous John Wick?"
Younger one: "He was eating cereal in a diner and I shot him."
High Table guy: "Fascinating. Well here's your $26 million and now no one can touch you. All hail ... Fred."
Sorry, where was I?
Okay so I know why my friend said I should watch this one more John Wick movie, because it's possible it would be the last one. Won't say anything more in order to avoid spoilers.
But of course it isn't. Not when there's money to be made. And I hear John Wick 5 might already be in development.
Like John Wick himself, I should have just stuck to my guns.
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