Later that same day, the nail came off. It was a real relief. No more gingerly putting on socks to prevent tearing it out prematurely.
Who could have guessed that wouldn't even be the worst thing to happen to that toe in that seven-day period.
On Sunday, while building a fence between our yard and sidewalk, I dropped a heavy fence panel on the same foot. In fact, it was only half of a heavy fence panel since we needed to halve it to fit the spot where we wanted it. Imagine what it might have done if it had been the whole thing.
It wasn't just clumsiness. I had the panel resting on a wall about three feet off the ground, where I had intended to remove some screws from some strips running along the height of the panel. It got too close to the edge, where there was nothing to stop it from slipping off and landing on my foot.
And because I was wearing these old, thin running shoes -- which I've taken to wearing because of the days we've been painting -- I got basically no protection from my shoe, to say nothing of the exposure caused by the missing toenail.
I could tell I'd gotten myself good and let out a string of PG-13 expletives, my son playing basketball nearby and all.
He rushed over -- for about the third time that day, since I'd had other minor mishaps that caused me to shout out -- and asked if I was okay. This time I knew I wasn't. When I took the shoe off, the end of my sock was soaked with blood.
It turns out the laceration was the worst part, and the bleeding was pretty continuous for several hours, despite my wife's attempts to wrap it and stop the bleeding. Long story short, we finally went to the ER about five hours later, where they couldn't do anything for us since it was a Sunday night and the radiology department only works until 6. We did get the wound properly dressed but left after nearly two ineffectual hours of seeing a couple different people who couldn't really progress the care. The next morning, I returned to discover I did have a small break at the end of the toe, the kind that would heal on its own as long as I took care of it properly. So now I'm wearing a big bandage that covers that toe and the next one, wrapping them in a bag when I go in the shower, and loath to put on a sock or a shoe.
The connection to movies? Why of course there is one.
After I'd hopped into the garage and crashed onto a bean bag -- and been attended to by everyone in my family, the children hovering without being able to do much -- it seemed obvious that I'd stay there and watch movies on the projector. Of course I would.
Wouldn't you know it, in the first 15 minutes of the first movie -- Lean on Pete, watched on Kanopy -- there is a reference to the lead character being given the right boots to work with the titular horse, so he doesn't lose a toe.
Heh.
I'm not really here to tell you about the "movie marathon" that followed, but since I did take Monday off work and watched four movies on the projector that day, I might as well briefly touch on each.
Lean on Pete
This came out the same year as Chloe Zhao's The Rider, which made my top ten of that year. I think I assumed it was a lesser version of The Rider and not worthy of my attentions, though obviously I did want to see it as it's been in my Kanopy watchlist for some time. Well, I'm really glad I saw it as it is another proof of the filmmaking abilities of Andrew Haigh (Weekend, 45 Years). I was hugely invested in this story of a teenager from a broken home whose story undergoes numerous twists and turns, all of which feel like a direct outgrowth of his environment and the very real difficulties of Americans near the poverty line. It was also a well-timed viewing since the Melbourne Cup was just run on Tuesday, the day I lost that toenail, so I had horse racing on the brain.
Old Dads
I'd been bemoaning the lack of really bad movies I've seen so far in 2023. It's been the year of the mediocre. For maybe the first half of Bill Burr's film, in which he's the star as well as the writer and director, I thought I had a new contender for my worst of the year. It's one of those films where every joke is at the expense of a sensitive liberal whose behavior is exaggerated to make them a PC monster. Lots of disdainful discussions of privilege and pronouns. As the film went, I upgraded my assessment from hating it to disliking it, since the old dads do learn their lesson and some of the rougher edges are sanded off the PC monsters. But I expected a lot better from a comedian who has found a niche that I enjoy. (He's like Joe Pantoliano if Joe Pantoliano were funnier.)
After these two movies, this is when we finally went to the hospital.
Deathgasm
Now I'm cheating a little bit since this movie was actually watched on our living room couch rather than on the projector. This was a suggestion by my wife, and when you are a medical patient and relying on someone who's catering to your needs, it's a good idea to heed their suggestions. I was going to be sleeping there to elevate my foot before my x-rays the next morning, so watching the movie there was probably also the right call. Anyway, this is a New Zealand film from 2015 about heavy metal music turning the residents of a small New Zealand town into zombies. Had a lot of fun with Jason Lei Howden's film, which feels inspired by the works of fellow countryman Peter Jackson.
I returned from the doctor around 10 a.m. on Monday, at which point I had already decided I was going to take the day as a sick day. So after a highly unusual two-hour (!) nap, I continued with my movies.
Reptile
One of the high-profile Netflix releases from around a month ago that had been eluding me. I really enjoyed the depth this movie has the chance to reach by running well over two hours, which made me feel like this world was very lived in. In what essentially amounts to a whodunnit, the script smartly sprinkles around potential suspects without you knowing which ones will be the red herrings. I really enjoyed Benicio del Toro in the lead role. However, my affection for the film has subsequently dimmed a little when a friend challenged me to try to remember the plot a week from now. He's got a point there, though the plot is rarely the thing that connects most with me about any movie. I'm probably more interested in performance and character and things I haven't seen before, and this movie did have some of that.
Joy Ride
After two false starts that both seemed too challenging for a sick day, I went with the 2001 Joy Ride directed by John Dahl, not the 2023 Joy Ride directed by Adele Lim, which I have also seen. This was one of those 90s thrillers (released just after the 1990s) that had the chance to be indistinguishable from two dozen other similar films, but I'd always had a soft spot for it. I'd seen it just the once, and of course I had to figure out if it held up. The appealing cast (Paul Walker, Steve Zahn, Leelee Sobieski) still worked on me, though I found the actual story to be a bit more preposterous than I remembered. The central antagonist is a truck driver with the ability to be everywhere at once like the most far-fetched serial killer, as well as setting up elaborate plans that similarly defy spatial logistics. I did enjoy it well enough and it went by quickly enough.
Pearl
As this has recently come to Netflix, I finally overcome some unspecified bias against it and threw on the prequel to Ti West's X. And was astounded. Not only did I like it a whole lot better than X, but I also found it to be completely different, barely even needing to be the same character and containing only a few Easter eggs for X. Mia Goth gives a truly committed performance that is all over the map between sympathetic and sociopathic. I just realized that "all over the map" is usually a phrase of criticism, but the wide-ranging aspect of her performance was key to the success of this movie. Big win here for West.
And finally to lighten up a dour afternoon of murder and gore ...
Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story
My fourth time watching Walk Hard -- has it been that few? -- was as good as any of the others. In fact, I feel like I may have laughed harder in certain spots than I had on previous occasions. So many bits in this just land perfectly. I think we will look back on this as one of the great comedies of the early 21st century. It's just sad that some of its frames of reference are becoming too ancient to resonate with a young audience today, though I'd hope that some of these jokes would work for a younger audience even out of context. Can't show it to my kids yet, though, as it's still too adult (in all the funniest ways). Oh and I guess if I really wanted to get away from the gore, I shouldn't have watched a movie where a young boy cuts his brother in half with a machete in the first ten minutes.
Heal, toe.
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