When I heard a week ago that another gunman had opened fire on an elementary school in America, almost as if intentionally marking nearly ten years since Sandy Hook, I was at a total loss.
It shook me to the core. And yet unlike when Sandy Hook occurred, it wasn't unprecedented. It was like "This ... again?"
And I didn't write about it on my blog. Until now of course.
The murder of children and teachers at Robb Elementary School doesn't have anything to do with movies, just as Sandy Hook didn't have anything to do with movies. But like Sandy Hook, it begs the question about how we can just go on with our normal activities like nothing happened.
The first post I wrote after it happened was about loss, but the loss of just a single person: Ray Liotta. Then I wrote about Avengers: Infinity War, and The Final Girls, and an awesome Bollywood movie called RRR.
It was only when listening to a podcast I'm caught up on, which had released an episode since the shooting, that I was reminded of the fact that I owe it to you, my readers, to say that this unthinkable action -- sadly, all too thinkable these days -- has been close to my mind and heart all week.
So why did I go on, posting frivolous material, as if nothing had happened?
Jesus Christ, what choice do we have. If politicians in America -- almost half, more than half, but way too close too half in either case -- choose to pass no legislation on gun reform, me screaming into the void on my blog isn't going to change that.
But as a blogger I need to at least have the decency to acknowledge that the world has once again been torn asunder by preventable gun violence. I'm sorry I didn't do it before now.
One of the most visible stands taken on the events of last Tuesday was by the coach of the Golden State Warriors, Steve Kerr, who hovered near tears as he screamed into the void in a far more productive way than I ever could -- in front of TV cameras, at a press conference that was supposed to be about his team's upcoming game against the Dallas Mavericks. Which they lost, by the way. I'm sure Steve Kerr didn't give two shits that his team lost. They won the next one and are now going on to the NBA Finals, which start on Thursday.
Against my Boston Celtics.
The Celtics were my first favorite sports team. For a good half decade before I even gave two shits about baseball, I loved and watched the Celtics as they won championships throughout the 1980s. I feel like I was only dimly aware of their championships in 1981 and 1984, but by the time they won it all in 1986, when I was 12, I was fully invested. Little did I know I'd have to wait 22 more years before I would see them hoist another banner.
This past Sunday night, they hung on in Game 7 against the Miami Heat, on the road, and punched their ticket to their first NBA Finals since 2010.
This is why it's also been a great week.
I think that's what I'm struggling with most. On Facebook, I posted my impotent outrage in the hours after I'd heard what happened. I didn't post anything else for five days after that.
The next thing I posted, though, was a picture of me smiling, wearing my Celtics #0 Jayson Tatum t-shirt, with the single word "Finals."
I'm sure there are some people who questioned the tastefulness of that, in the wake of what happened. I questioned it myself.
But 45 people liked or loved the post, which is, I guess, them forgiving me for being distracted by something else, something that brought me joy, in the shadow of such pain. Which is them needing the joy in their lives as well.
I don't know what I want to say here. I know it doesn't have anything to do with movies.
Even the things that stop us dead in our tracks cannot stop us dead in our tracks. I balled my fists in rage over the fact that gutless politicians trying to keep up their perfect rating with the NRA continued to allow deranged young people, young people who never should have been anywhere near military grade firearms, to shoot up another school. To kill more than 20 people, 19 of them students. But because life is presenting us both bad things and good things all the time, and these things are time sensitive, and because there's nothing, in this case, I can do about either the good or the bad, I posted that picture of me smiling wearing my Celtics t-shirt.
I don't regret it. I had to grasp that moment of joy when it was with me. I might get another one in the next two weeks, if the Celtics can beat the Warriors, but I might not.
Like I said, I don't really know what I want to say here. But I did want to let the people know, the people who care enough to come here and read what I write, that I didn't just shrug and move on.
I hope this time, finally, maybe, the politicians won't shrug and move on either.
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