Sunday, November 15, 2009

This guy sucks

I'm the first person to admit I'm an old fart.

I don't get most things related to youth culture. It all seems so ridiculously frivolous. I'm only 36, but I make no real effort to understand people any younger than 28. My admissions in this post notwithstanding.

So I don't expect myself to be the best judge of things aimed at teens. Really, I'm just the wrong demographic.

But even still: Doesn't this guy suck?

Every time I'm in a grocery store, and I see this guy on the front of a tabloid, I think, "This guy sucks."

And when the TV happens to be on an entertainment show or entertainment network, and I see this guy show up, I think, "This guy sucks."

And when I'm at the Barnes & Noble, and there's a huge display advertising this guy's upcoming movie, and this guy is featured prominently, I think, "This guy sucks."

And when my Entertainment Weekly arrives this week, and this guy is one of the three obnoxious faces staring back at me from the cover, I think, "This guy sucks."

I mean just look at him. He's a stupid little whelp, with his whelpish hair and whelpish little face. Yet while I've called him little twice now, most of his features seem too big for his face.

There's something wrong about this guy, like he's half-born or something. Yeah, he looks like Spock during one of his stages of rapid growth in Star Trek III. He should be covered with some kind of intergalactic embryonic fluid.

Yet teens love this guy. And it makes me wonder if teens would love any guy playing this guy's role, or if it's this guy in particular. It's the same thing I wonder about the other guy who's in this guy's movie, though I do get the other guy's appeal a little more.

This guy. Who needs him?