Series I'm glad I've seen none of

1. Big Momma - Big Momma's House (2000), Big Momma's House 2 (2006), Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (2011)

2. Ernest - Ernest Goes to Camp (1987), Ernest Saves Christmas (1988), Ernest Goes to Jail (1990), Ernest Scared Stupid (1991), Ernest Rides Again (1993), Ernest Goes to School (1994), Ernest Goes to Africa (1997), Ernest in the Army (1988)

3. Ghoulies - Ghoulies (1985), Ghoulies 2 (1987), Ghoulies III: Ghoulies Go to College (1991), Ghoulies IV (1994)

Series I'm surprised I've seen none of:

1. Dirty Harry - Dirty Harry (1971), Magnum Force (1973), The Enforcer (1976), Sudden Impact (1983), The Dead Pool (1988)

2. Nightmare on Elm Street - A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984), A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985), A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987), A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988), A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child (1989), Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991), Wes Craven's New Nightmare (1994), Freddy vs. Jason (2003), A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

3. Transporter - The Transporter (2002), Transporter 2 (2005), Transporter 3 (2008)

Series I'm embarrassed to have seen all of:

1. Left Behind - Left Behind: The Movie (2000), Left Behind II: Tribulation Force (2002), Left Behind: World at War (2005)

2. Harold and Kumar - Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle (2004), Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay (2008)

3. Saw* - Saw (2004), Saw II (2005), Saw III (2006), Saw IV (2007), Saw V (2008), Saw VI (2009), Saw 3D (2010)*

* - I have yet to see Saw 3D, now called Saw: The Final Chapter. But I thought having seen six of the seven Saws was embarrassing enough to be worth including.

Take my overstock, please!

We've all seen merchants trying to unload overstock DVDs wherever they can.

The discount bin at Target. That spot next to the TV Guides at the grocery store checkout. Even the 99 Cents store.

But the back of a cereal box? That's a first for me.

Yet that's what Kellogg's is doing with eight completely random titles right now. I discovered this strange little campaign on the back of my box of Raisin Bran Crunch.

All you have to do is collect five "tokens" from the back of their boxes of cereal, complete an official order form, and send it in before 3/31/11, and you get one of these great films!

Chain Reaction (1996, Andrew Davis)
Goosebumps: Attack of the Jack O'Lanterns (2009, various)
Ghoulies (1985, Luca Bercovici) & Ghoulies II (1987, Albert Band) (double feature)
High Crimes (2002, Carl Franklin)
Swamp Thing (1982, Wes Craven)
Swimfan (2002, John Polson)
WarGames (1982, John Badham)
When Good Ghouls Go Bad (2001, Patrick Read Johnson)

Listed in (almost) alphabetical order, for your convenience.

In case you were under the mistaken impression that this is the most random collection of movies you've ever seen, here is how Kellogg's tries to tie them all together:

"Catch your choice of (giant letters) THRILLS and CHILLS! Suspense, betrayal, revenge, cover-ups, surprise twists, chilling screams, scary creatures and edge-of-your-seat action - make it a thrilling movie night with your choice of crowd-pleasing films from FOX and MGM SELECTIONS!"

Um, okay. Yeah, that about covers it.

But wait, there's more! If you buy a copy of Aliens in the Attic at any store where DVDs are sold, you can complete the official $3 mail-in rebate from inside this package and send it in with your sales receipt!

I'm serious. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

I'm not saying all these movies are bad -- in fact, I consider WarGames to be among my hundred favorite films of all time. But just the randomness of this group of movies ... it's astounding. I know, they're all connected by the fact that they were put out by either Fox or MGM, but those studios have put out a ton of movies over the years, so this particular selection is still suspect.

If anything, I think it makes the people at Kellogg's look darn silly. They're the ones putting this motley crew of titles on the back of their product, attempting to create a sense of urgency about them.

If they were at least movies that had been released in the last couple years, it would make sense as some kind of promotion of (relatively) recent releases. But only one of these DVDs was released since 2002, the combo pack of three episodes of Goosebumps. Which, as far as I can tell, is the only non-movie in the bunch.

Funny thing is, if I didn't already own WarGames on DVD, I might actually collect enough tokens to send in for that one. (Tokens which are green, and read, quite optimistically, "Movie Lovers Collection.") I mean, I'm probably going to keep buying a box of Raisin Bran Crunch about every month, so it's not like I'd really have to go out of my way. I have nearly ten months to do it, assuming they don't sell out before then (ha ha).

But to get Swimfan or Chain Reaction? I don't think so.

(And poor Morgan Freeman. He actually appears in two of these movies.)

I guess I should view it as some kind of tribute to my good taste that I've seen only two of these movies, WarGames and Swamp Thing (which, if I remember, actually has some B-movie charm).

I do see, however, that neither Ghoulies or Ghoulies II is currently reviewed on my site ... hmmm ...