Showing posts with label goosebumps. Show all posts
Showing posts with label goosebumps. Show all posts

Thursday, May 11, 2017

The goosebumps I didn't get

This post is not exclusively about Goosebumps, but rather, an opportunity to discuss something that has been bothering me for a while, that others have talked about plenty and I have probably talked about in this space myself. Goosebumps was just a reminder of the thing that’s been bugging me, and it had the benefit of providing me a good headline for this piece.

The problem with Goosebumps, which I watched on Wednesday night, and movies of its ilk is that they just don’t wow us anymore. They don’t provide – you guessed it – goosebumps.

The goosebumps we once got from effects-driven movies have all but dissipated in recent years. Goosebumps the movie was just the most recent example.

Although you’re likely familiar with it, I’ll give you a quick description of this movie anyway. The best way to describe it is as a mash up of Jumanji, Night at the Museum, Gremlins, and even something like Ruby Sparks (though the reason for that last is a bit of a spoiler, so I won’t go into it). The concept is that the creations of author R.L. Stine – a real person played here by Jack Black – are real beasties that are trapped inside his locked books, Jumanji-style. When they escape, they create havoc, because what else would they do?

There was a time when we would have been awed just by the ability to create digital beasties that escaped from books and took a small Delaware town by storm. Even if the writing was not great, which it usually isn’t in movies like this, the visuals would be enough to get you geeked out. What would we see? How would we see it? What cinematic marvels would be newly unveiled to us, things that we never knew before might be possible?

Well, digital effects have progressed so much, and become so available to the common man relatively inexpensively, that the movies that contain them – the movies that used to give us goosebumps – have become commonplace. Instead of one movie per year where creatures materialize out of books, you have six. And that’s joining the six movies set in Middle Earth (or similar), the six movies set in outer space, and the six major disaster movies in which familiar landmarks collapse before our eyes.

Yawn.

I consider this one of the greatest losses of my life as a cinephile. Few things seems like a more tragic frittering of the magic of motion pictures.

The thing is, I don’t know what they could have done differently.

It might have been possible not to saturate us with digital effects, such that not only was everything and anything possible, but we saw anything and everything be possible in almost every movie. But you can understand why any individual studio or visionary director might be hesitant to forfeit their right to use those effects in their movie. Once those effects existed, and could be made to look really great, they were a tool that would remain valuable right up until the moment of overexposure. And it was impossible to know when that moment might arrive, so get it while the getting’s good.

But that moment has arrived. It’s here. And I don’t know if it’s ever leaving.

I guess we’re probably just ready for a new paradigm shift. You know, VR, something like that. That’s the next great technological leap that we can ride, then chew up and spit out. And now it almost feels like it can’t get here fast enough.

So what is a person’s refuge?

Why, movies that don’t require visual effects, of course.

I’m not in a position to do any tabulating now, but I’d venture that in the past three to five years, my yearly top 20 has become almost totally devoid of effects-driven movies. Now, the logic that this is related entirely to digital oversaturation is a bit specious, since writing in movies with significant digital effects tends to be pretty weak. And because of the significant investment in the effects, they can’t afford to take risks in the plot, lest they offend some important segment of their anticipated audience. So these movies end up being bland. As ambitious as they may be in their visual approach, they are that safe in narrative, and truth be told, they are probably not as ambitious visually as they are opportunistic.

But back in the good old days, films that relied on the possibilities of digital effects would regularly grace my top 10, be it Titanic or Starship Troopers or Cloverfield or Gravity. And I guess Gravity was not that long ago, but that’s because Gravity was doing something new. There’s a lot less new nowadays. As recently as 2015, Star Wars: The Force Awakens was knocking on the door of my top 10, but that had a whole other set of things going for it, which didn’t have anything to do whether Snoke or Maz Kanata looked good. Which they didn’t, really.

Can visual effects make a comeback?

Who’s to say. I mean, I do have affection for some of these movies. Last year, for example, I was quite taken with Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. The reliance by that film on digital effects was heavy.

History is littered with examples of one phenomenon running its course and being replaced by another, one that makes everything feel fresh again, one that we may not have even been anticipating when it snuck up and bit us. I mean, we won’t be stuck with comic book movies forever, either. At least, you wouldn’t think.

So I’ve got my arms open, wide, just waiting for something to come along and renew the fundamental cinematic aspect of creating magic before our eyes.

And maybe the next type of magic will give me goosebumps again. 

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

The bad dental advice of children's movies


It's bad enough that my five-year-old is regressing to his infancy in the month remaining before he starts school. He doesn't need any help from the entertainment that's geared toward him.

Regressing? Try a series of "accidents" that he had stopped having a full year ago, maybe longer. We've still got a few weeks to sort this out, but suffice it to say I'm concerned.

However, it's just poor hygiene that the TV shows and movies aimed at him are advocating.

Goosebumps isn't out here yet -- a strange fate for a Halloween movie, which will finally be rectified next Thursday -- but we've seen the trailer before just about every movie we've watched recently. I'm pretty sure that's three times, though to be honest, I can only think of two movies we would have seen during the time period they would have logically been showing Goosebumps trailers: Hotel Transylvania 2 (another Halloween movie) and The Good Dinosaur this past Sunday.

Anyway, the trailer has made quite an impression on my son, as it walks that line between attracting him and repelling him. He is of course drawn in by the images, but he's also scared of them. It's a tightrope act children his age must constantly walk.

The moment from the trailer he mentioned of his own accord yesterday, though, was a humorous one, when that kid jumps on the werewolf unleashed from one of R.L. Stine's books and bites him on the neck. It has the desired effect of driving off the monster because the kid has silver fillings. When the girl he has a crush on asks for an explanation, he admits it was because of the whole year he went without brushing his teeth.

Every parent in the audience cringes when he or she hears a thing like that. And then when your kid brings it up again on his own ... well, it looks like we may need to go back to monitoring our son's brushing more closely, like we did before we trusted him.

As luck would have it, this is also the time that we're trying to teach him the right routine for washing up after using the bathroom. (When he remembers to get to the bathroom in time, that is -- which, to be fair, is still most of the time.) He also watches a show on Australian TV called Lah Lah's Big Love Band, which features a perky female singer who waltzes through an animated playhouse with her equally perky male bandmates for about three songs per episode. One of those songs contains the lyrics

I like to wash my hands and wipe 'em on my pants
I like to wash my hands and wipe 'em on my pants
I like to wash my hands and wipe 'em on my pants
And that's the way I like to do it

Since he first heard that song, we haven't gotten him to use a towel once.

What are the writers of these movies and TV shows thinking? In the case of Goosebumps, they're probably thinking "Don't take your kids to see Goosebumps if they haven't mastered brushing their teeth yet." (And then I'm thinking, in response, "Okay, don't show the Goosebumps trailer before movies my brushing challenged son might see!") In terms of Lah Lah's Big Love Band, though, that is absolutely, definitely a show aimed at kids who are five or even younger. I guess it's never too early to try to tap into a viewer's sense of dormant rebellion.

At least there isn't a song that goes

I like to poop my pants although I'm starting school
I like to poop my pants although I'm starting school
I like to poop my pants although I'm starting school
And my parents don't know what the hell to do about it