Friday, March 14, 2014

Risen there, done that

Lord Vader isn't the only one who was supposed to "rise."

Among the many others also rising are: Cobra, the Silver Surfer, the Dark Knight, the Guardians, and the Planet of the Apes.

And if you go way back: the sun, also.

And: bread.

You'd think movies would be pretty tired of the verb "rise" by now, but you'd think wrong.

Next month, The Amazing Spider-Man 2: Rise of Electro beats the lazy title convention into the deadest of dead horses.

Which makes, like, reason #432 I don't want to see this movie.

(Reasons #1 through #431 include: Jamie Foxx looks ridiculous, I boycotted the first one, I'm over superhero movies.)

Seriously, do those who came up with this title not remember G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, The Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, Rise of the Guardians, The Dark Knight Rises and Rise of the Planet of the Apes? And, who would have thought that of those titles, the Fantastic Four sequel would be the trendsetter?

I get what you are trying to accomplish with the word "rise." As it is used specifically in G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, it discusses the advent, the onset, the arrival of a great foe that will be a perennial thorn in the side of our heroes. But I would have to believe that in both The Fantastic Four 2 and The Amazing Spider-Man 2, that nemesis did/will both rise and fall within the same movie. It would be just the same to call the movie The Amazing Spider-Man 2: The One With Electro In It.

How much better would these movies have been with the word "rise" in their titles?

The Dark Knight: Rise of the Joker
The Avengers: Rise of Loki
The X-Men: Rise of Magneto
Star Trek: Rise of Khan
Superman: Rise of Zod
Austin Powers: Rise of Dr. Evil
The Smurfs: Rise of Gargamel
The Usual Suspects: Rise of Keyser Soze 
Ocean's Eleven: Rise of Terry Benedict
Zoolander: Rise of Jacobim Mugatu
The Happening: Rise of the Trees
Titanic: Rise of the Iceberg

You get the point.

What? The Amazing Spider-Man 2: Rise of Electro is only called The Amazing Spider-Man 2: Rise of Electro in weird countries like Australia, whereas everywhere else it's just The Amazing Spider-Man 2?

Okay, I'll shut up now. 


Travis McClain said...

Austin Powers: Rise of Dr. Evil sounds legit, actually.

Vancetastic said...

It would be conscious of the parodic aspect of the title, that's for sure.

Thaddeus said...

I gotta tell ya, Vance, every time I make up a fake sequel or reboot or remake title, I always use the words, "fall," "rise," or "dark." Someone in Hollywood must be totally obsessed with those words to the point that I really want to find the marketing exec who's promoting them and whatever research he used to get those words into common use.

Vancetastic said...

Good call, Thaddeus. I always knew you had a good sense of humor. :-)