Monday, December 8, 2014

Signs of the apocalypse: Colin Firth kicking butt

I suppose it was hard to imagine most people as action heroes until the first time they played one.

Remember when that was not at all the type of role you expected Nicolas Cage or Liam Neeson to play? Now it seems like neither guy can do anything but.

Still, it strikes me as especially strange that British thespian and Oscar winner Colin Firth is going to have an arsenal of badass fight moves in his upcoming movie Kingsman: The Secret Service, whose trailer I saw for the first time Friday night.

The trailer opens with Firth in a closed pub with his nephew (?) and a bunch of young British thugs who want to beat the piss out of them both. As it became clear what was going to happen, I thought "No ... not Colin Firth." I literally didn't think the guy's body could move that way.

But sure enough, a sped-up montage of him laying waste to the room followed. There was some stunt work and trickery and a lot of not-Colin Firth in that scene, I'm sure, but somehow, it came off kind of credibly.

I suppose I should no longer be surprised about anyone who turns up in a role like this after the likes of John Malkovich and Helen Mirren were seen kicking butt in RED, but nonetheless, it does certainly seem strange. Firth just seems too stiff, too mannered. Maybe it was to fight that perception that he wanted to take this role in the first place. And hey, if there's someone I trust to pull this off, it's certainly Kick-Ass director Matthew Vaughn.

Nonetheless, I thought this might be a good opportunity to list five other actors who don't seem like they will ever be action heroes:

5. Daniel Day-Lewis. Since he's a method actor, he'd have to entrench with a black ops team for six months before filming could start.

4. Neil Patrick Harris. No, it's not that he's gay, so he can't be an action star. It's that he's Neil Patrick Harris, so he can't be an action star.

3. Seth Rogen. But it will totally happen. Jonah Hill has already paved the way by appearing in the Jump Street movies.

2. Peter Dinklage. Sorry, this is in fairly poor taste. Can I offset that by saying how awesome Dinklage is?

1. Jason Statham. Never happen, right?

1 comment:

Derek Armstrong said...

I'll leave it as is, but as soon as I posted this I realized that duh -- Rogen has already been in a superhero movie (The Green Hornet).