"What do you think, Babe?" "It's time to go to dinner, Babe." "Do you know where I left my keys, Babe?"
There are all types of people in the world. I would guess that only a relatively small number of them call each other "Babe."
But it's become so common in modern film that it's almost like screenwriters have universally agreed that they are going to use this crutch and that we shouldn't analyze it too closely.
On the surface, you'd think it would be a class signifier to some degree. If boyfriends and girlfriends, husbands and wives -- or please, especially within Pride Month, any other combination of gender types within that -- call each other "Babe," it's usually meant to indicate that they are a bit less sophisticated. Of course, this also means that the movie itself usually loves them. Only a person who isn't a genius sounds genuine when professing their love to another character. Nothing saps the romance out of a romantic movie than watching an egghead tell another egghead how they feel about them.
But lately I've noticed that "Babe" has progressed beyond the guys in wifebeaters and the women in hotpants. It might be that even eggheads are trying it on for size.
And I should pause on that word "wifebeater" there for a moment, which you would likely know refers to a sleeveless white undershirt. A tank top.
There is the idea of domestic violence built into people who wear shirts like that -- probably unfairly -- and I do think there is a mild misogyny when a man calls a woman "Babe." It isn't actually sexist, but it is sort of infantalizing, like it's lengthier form "Baby." Although the term "Baby" goes back to the start of modern courtship and pop music, I have always found there to be something a bit problematic about it.
Of course, you can't be a sexist pig calling someone "Babe" if that person is calling you "Babe" right back, which is what you see most often in movies today. In fact, just to make sure it's not a problem, usually both characters will refer to the other using this term within the very same scene, just so we know it's an even playing field.
But I rankle at it a bit for two reasons:
1) I myself don't like or use the term. I think if I called my wife "Babe," she'd have reason to be annoyed at me. Of course, it would be a break in my normal pattern, which would raise her eyebrows, but I also think she'd be mildly offended.
2) Not everyone in the world can possibly use this word, but the movies make it seem like they do.
If I'm analyzing why this trend is happening, and why "Babe" has become such a placeholder for any other form of familiarity used in a couple, it's precisely that: it communicates immediately what is intended while essentially disappearing into the woodwork. It is freed from the burdens of specificity.
If you wanted to put on screen as accurate a depiction of a couple as possible, you'd probably go for a word that more uniquely fits the little dualistic vocabulary that exists between these two people.
For example, in my marriage that would be the word "P." My wife and I call each other "P" as a shortening of "Person," though we sometimes use the longer version as well. As in, "You're my person." And then "P" for short.
It's a bit cute and schmaltzy. All these things are. It's probably less revolting than "Shnookums" but more revolting than some other options.
The thing it isn't? Immediately clear what is meant by it.
If you made a movie in which two characters called each other "P" in a scene, we'd have questions. We'd be like "What are they saying? P? Did I hear that right?" And then even if we could confirm it, we'd be like "And what does that mean in this context?"
Everyone knows what "Babe" means. It means two characters are in a pretty happy relationship and they have pet names for each other. But if we introduced actual pet names, the kind people really use, you'd be too confused and we'd have to stop and explain it.
So "Babe" it is.
Am I really upset about this?
Of course not, not really. It's fine. There are lots of shortcuts in screenwriting that are more unrealistic and more worth getting upset about, but that we accept because they keep the story moving. Screenwriting is all about efficiency, remember.
And look, there are a lot worse words it could be. "Babe" and "Baby" both show up throughout history in popular music. "Baby" was huge in the 1950s, and by the time Sony and Cher came around, "Babe" had gotten more popular as a potential replacement.
I'll just have to accept that the percentage of people who actually say it is something less than what the movies and TV tell me it is.
