2024 in portmanteaus

Twenty twenty-four was a year, just like any other year since 2014. 

Which means it's time for the 11th annual installment of the year in portmanteaus, in which I take two movies from the year just completed, mash them together by title, and see what laughs might arise from the smoldering ruins.

Without any further ado, here's 30 of them:

It's What's Inside Out 2 - Riley's teenage brain gets even more scrambled when all her emotions switch places with each other.

The Deadpool Don't Hurt - Actually, that's a common misconception about the wisecracking superhero. It's quite painful when he gets sliced and diced up by an enemy, it just doesn't have any long-term impact. 

I Saw the TV Crow - Two confused teenagers become vigilantes after they believe they've turned into the characters on a popular TV show. 

Rebel Ridge: The Scargiver - A former marine unfairly detained by the police leads an uprising of local townspeople, giving scars to many corrupt cops.

Red One Rooms - Santa is arrested and put on trial after filling the dark web with reindeer snuff films. 

Ghostbusters: Unfrosted Empire - The origin story of the giant walking Pop Tart that destroyed New York City. 

Bratiator II - Andrew McCarthy, Emilio Estevez and Ally Sheedy team up to fight a digital rhinoceros. 

Better Monkey Man - A simian Robbie Williams cuts a path of mayhem through Delhi while singing and dancing.

Fly Me to the Moana - The latest trick by a mischievous demigod is that he fakes the moon landing. 

The People's Joker: Folie a Deux - Wait, which one has Lady Gaga again? 

Furiosa: A Mad MaXXXine Saga - An 80s porn star hunts down the man sending her cryptic messages, who is always prattling on about guzzoline. 

Sasquatch Suncoast - A family of missing links finds their primitive brains tested when they must decide whether to disconnect Terry Schiavo's feeding tubes. 

Nosferatuesday - Count Orlok meets his match in the form of a giant talking macaw. 

The Substanicky - An Atlantic City lounge act injects himself with a fluid to make him younger so his audiences will still want to listen to his porn-themed song parodies. 

Transformers: One Love - The origin story of Optimus Prime and Megatron as Rastafarians who wanted to transform the world through song, and marijuana. 

The Greatest Night in Cop: Axel F - LA police officers gather for a recording where they all go "Doo do doo do do do do" to the tune of that Harold Faltermeyer song. 

Wolfserines - Two different Hugh Jackmans from two different timelines show up at the same crime scene to dispose of a body. 

Mufasa: The Lion Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes - Talking apes? Talking lions? Who can keep up. 

Janet of the Apes - Watching Janet Planet bores millions to death, resulting in the extinction of humanity. 

Saturday Nightbitch - The first ever sketch on Saturday Night Live was actually about a mother turning into a werewolf. 

Brutalista - A Hungarian architect tries to gain his work visa by doing strange favors for Tilda Swinton. 

Harold and the Purple Christopher Reeve - A storybook character restores Superman's ability to walk by drawing him a new pair of legs.  

Megalopolisters - Adam Driver and Nathalie Emmanuel chase tornadoes that threaten to destroy their new utopian city.

Under MegaloParis - Adam Driver and Nathalie Emmanuel chase sharks that threaten to destroy their new utopian city. 

Longlegalopolis - Adam Driver and Nathalie Emmanuel try to chew more scenery than Nicolas Cage. 

Twicked - Storm chasers follow Dorothy into the tornado, enroll at an academy for students potentially gifted in witchcraft. 

Imagimary - The mother of Jesus tells her husband she was impregnated by an imaginary friend only she can see but we all should worship.

Will & Harperez - Will Ferrell gets an additional surprise when he learns his dear friend was also once the head of a powerful drug cartel. 

Trapprentice - Authorities corner a dangerous criminal inside an arena to hold him accountable for his crimes, but the American people vote for him anyway. 

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