Friday, January 27, 2017

2016 in portmanteaus

Back for the third time, my post devoted to mashing the titles of two (or more) movies from the previous year together into a "hilarious" (you be the judge) new movie. And hey, I'm getting better with Microsoft Paint!

Zoolandertopia - A look into an ideal society where rival male models can coexist peacefully.

Captain America: Civil Warcraft - Sick of feuding amongst themselves, the Avengers open a portal to fight an army of orcs.

The Moonlight Between Oceans - A gay Floridian teenager finds a lost Australian baby, raising it as his own.

Holy Hell or High Water - A charismatic cult leader woos impressionable young people to carry out bank robberies in Texas.

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Invade Next - A wizard loses control of the creatures in his magical briefcase, leading an escaped Michael Moore to run rampant in Europe.

Under the Shallows - An Iranian djinn takes possession of a shark in Mexico; shark develops Jaws-like obsession with surfer.

Me Before Southside With You - Upon meeting a paralyzed Barack Obama, Michelle Robinson must convince him to run for president instead of killing himself.

A Money Monster Calls - Gullible dreamers take glib financial advice from a talking tree.

Triple 9 Lives - A man gets stuck inside the brain of a cat, plots to kill a cop as a diversion for a major heist.

Hello, My Name is Dory - A forgetful fish who wears quirky outfits gets a job in a New York office building, can never remember whom she's already met.

Weinerve - Turns out Anthony Weiner sent out those dick pics because he was part of a social media game of escalating dares.

Jason Bourne to be Blue - Jason Bourne forgets who he is again, wakes up as Chet Baker.

Don't Breathe, Resist or Think Twice - A day in the life of the American police officer.

God's Not Deadpool - But the reverse may not be true.

I Saw the Lights Out - Hank Williams gets way too drunk, swears he sees a creature when the lights are off.

Blair VVitch - The disappearance of a family of Pilgrims is documented through found parchment scrolls.

How to be Sing Street - A single New York gal writes an instruction manual on how to form an Irish new wave band to impress girls.

The Birth of Indignation - A student at an Ohio college in the 1950s starts a rebellion in which he and his fellow classmates rise up and kill their professors.

Office Christine Party - Rebecca Hall and Kate Lyn Sheil discuss their differing interpretations of Christine Chubbuck while drinking spiked egg nog.

Swiss Army Erdmann - A farting corpse dons a wig and false teeth to teach a man the value of his existence.

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